Letter to Andrew

Letter to Andrew
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Writing from SLO
Thursday I was scheduled at the BloodSource, but my pulse was too high
and I was deferred. I think in addition to hurrying from work, the
worry about getting ready for the SLO trip had me pretty stressed. I
didn't really mind being deferred. I considered returning to work for
an hour and a half, but decided against it.
After a bit of trying to get things done at home, I took a break
to join the Single Adult service project wrapping gifts for Christmas
Promise. I met a couple of Miriam's friends. It was my first Single
Adult activity. I don't expect to do many. I really don't have time,
energy, or much interest. I am not "looking".
We left home about 11 Friday morning, stopping at Costco for gas
and Winco for snacking food (both of which were on the way, anyway)
before truly hitting the road. It was raining pretty much all the way.
We went straight to Costco SLO to replenish the gas (32 mpg) and buy
pizza to take to D&T's.
After eating, we helped a little with party preparations. Teresa
had done tremendous amount of work. Friday night we helped make little
chocolate graduation hats. She put Giradeli squares on top of
truffles. And a little dot of frosting on top. Sounds simple They
looked great! Everyone was very impressed.
Debi and Miriam stayed in Sacramento for parties Friday night and
drove to SLO together Saturday morning. Debi's party was a Harry
Potter themed birthday party (for a 25 year old). Debi went as a
Death Eater. She had thought about being a Patronus, but that was too
much work. She drew a Death Mark on her arm. She had a little
trouble getting it the way she wanted it and rubbed part of her arm
raw 'erasing'. Ouch!! One little boy at the party told her she was
V's wife and expecting V 's baby. Who, of course, would be evil so he
(the little boy) would have to kill it, but he wouldn't kill a baby,
so he'll wait until it grows up a little. Apparently, Debi herself was
not evil. (such is her charm)
As they got on the freeway, Miriam & Debi saw a guy spin out and
get stuck in the mud. They stopped and helped him get his car out.
Aren't you proud of them?! They knew it wasn't a trap because they
saw it happen.
Dad made a day trip to come to the Graduation, helped a little
with party prep, and came to the party for a while before driving
back. It's a good 5 hours each way, so he put in some effort to be
there.
It poured rain on and off - mostly on - all day Saturday. D&T
dropped Dad off as close to the ceremony as they could, then the rest
of us drove to the Institute for free parking. We had left the house
during a bit of nice weather so I left my rain jacket in my car. (We
drove over in DT's & Miriam's cars.) We scurried through pouring rain
on sidewalks like streams as David directed as across campus, ducking
in and out of buildings. Apparently Cal Poly has no security worries!
We sat in the risers. Teresa directed Dad to her Dad, step-mom, &
sister Amy who sat on the main floor. Just a note - you can see better
from the risers.
The ceremony moved along fairly quickly. They held 3 ceremonies
in that gymn (the Mustang Maniac's Asylum). As we were leaving,
announcers were urging us to move along quickly as another ceremony
began in 40 minutes! I think we were seated 40 minutes before our
ceremony.
I liked that the speakers talked about qualities of character,
service and life-long learning. Good speeches.
Of course, I was a bit teary watching all the graduates come in.
When ours were up for their presentation, I was concentrating on
trying (without great success) to get pictures with Teresa's camera.
Poor Teress! She was wearing cute, strappy sandal-like heels. Halfway
through the ceremony the heel broke almost totally off one shoe and
she had to walk across the stage like that. When we got to the cookie
and punch reception area, she threw away her shoes. Most of us
repeated the splash dash back to the cars and David drove back for
Dad, Teresa, and Debi (who stayed 'to keep Teresa company').
We had about an hour to get set up for the party. D&T had
originally hoped to have a BBQ party in the yard. Fortunately, when
they asked the landlord for permission, those nice people said they
would have the house available in case of bad weather. Teresa put on
quite a spread! I don't know if I will be able to equal it for the
Sacramento Graduation Celebration Jan 2. Taquitos, mini tacos,
emanadas, egg rolls, 7 layer dip & chips, the chocolate graduates,
chocolate mints wrapped in green & gold (Cal Poly colors), peanuts,
veggies, I don't know if I am remembering everything - and pineapple
juice mixed with bubblies for a yellow-gold punch. It was all
impressive and delicious.

Continuing Monday, December 14, 2009 in Sacramento

Sunday we only went to Sacrament Meeting. Worse, we, and By that
I mean mostly your sisters, convinced Teresa to cut out as well.
(David was providing two-deep in Primary.) I made sandwiches and
rested. The girls looked at Debi's Klutz Learn to Crochet book. Teresa
went back to church for choir. We headed for home. Although we had
not planned it ahead of time, our car and the girls followed each
other all the way to Consumnes & Power Inn. When we started, the
weather was partly sunny. We drove through sunshine and showers, more
showers, and torrential rain. It eased up again s bit as we got to
Sacramento. We found the house still standing and the animals all
alive. Anna had had an accident in the kitchen and Atilla had pooped
in Joseph's room. Probably AFTER Matt Welge had been over to take of
Anna in the morning - and clean up some cocoa Anna had gotten into.
Today we did some but not nearly all of our Saturday chores. Do we
EVER do them all? We also went to see Whales and Dolphins in 3D at the
Imax theater. Tonight we watched Star Trek which Joseph had rented at
a Red Box while shopping at Raleys. Star Trek was the more enjoyable.
But we stayed up too late! Good night!

Sent from my iPod

about comments

I am sorry that now I have to moderate comments before they are published.  I started getting spam comments.  Only a couple so far, but I don't want more.  I wish I could set a list of approved commenters, but I don't know how to to do that.

I do want to hear from my friends and family, so please don't be put off by the comment moderation!

<3

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.


Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Christmas Letter

I do not write. I do not phone.
I tend to leave you quite alone.
But you’ve been kind and you’ve been good.
Uplifted me as good friends should.

I hoped to write and send a card,
But resource management is hard.
You certainly deserve much better,
But this, my friends, is my Christmas letter.


Many people have enriched my lfe and dwell forever in my heart.  I have been blessed by so many friends that I cannot manage the time or postage to send you all letters and cards as I would like!

2009 was fine.  Despite many months of worry and uncertainty, neither I nor my state worker children lost our jobs.  (yet?)   Although, we took almost a 15% pay cut in the form of Furlough Fridays, I think I benefit more from the time gained than I am hurt by the money lost- even though  we do feel it.  I never have quite enough of either!  Does anyone?

I continue unambitiously, but happily to work for California State Parks.  My boss is great, my co-workers pleasant, my job within my ability, and my office within biking distance and right off light rail convienient for non-biking days.  Buried in an office building , I can at least day-dream about the wonderful parks whose utility bills I process.

I would love to visit most of our State Parks and did visit a few this year.  In January, it was Natural Bridges State Park where Monarch Butterflies winter in a sheltered little gulch.  We camped a long weekend in September at MacKerricher, long one of my favorite places.  On Halloween, we took two grandkids trick-or-treating in mid-town including a visit to Sutter’s Fort State Historic Park. Each park is a jewel.

Speaking of jewels, I am inordinately blessed in my children!  You want to know where they are? -

Sariah, husband Ryan, and beautiful daughters, Acadia and Aurora, enjoy living in Vancouver, WA

David and his wife Teresa are graduating from Cal Poly (!) in San Luis Obsipo and getting ready to begin life after university. 

The rest (save one) are (lucky for me!) in the greater Sacramento area.

Miriam works for California Department of Corrections, shares a house with friends, and seems to busy with friends and church activities

Debi shares her house with Chloe, her Great Dane. They often have friends over for dinner.  (No, not for Chloe's dinner!) She (Debi, not Chloe) is a valuable asset of The Lyle Company, a leading solutions partner of the wireless industry.

I have missed having Ruth and Tom and their family “almost next door” since they moved this year.  The good news is that they are now in a bigger house (near Debi) and soon their family will be bigger, too.  Esther and Jared are expecting a little sibling late next July!

Joseph works for the Department of Consumer Affairs, Bureau of Automotive Repair.   Lucky for me, he is living at home.  I rely on his technical expertise, as well as enjoy his company. 

Andrew (the save one) is serving enthusiastically in the Canada Winnipeg Mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. His weekly emails home are posted at http://madman7o8.blogspot.com/

Benjamin is a high school senior! ( I am getting old)  He is a major force in sorting and organizing our home.   He almost single-handedly unburied the family room and continues making and inspiring small improvements.  He is nice to have around, both for his helpfulness and his companionship.

My life is blessed.  I am so thankful for all that God has given me, especially a testimony of His love and wisdom and of his son, Jesus Christ, whose birth we celebrate. 

Thank you for your influence in my life. May God bless you this Christmas season and throughout the coming year with love, joy, and peace.

As I wrote to Andrew about the last couple of days

Sunday December 6, 2009


it's Sunday again! and, again, no letter writing during choir time. First off we were late, but mainly I was meeting with the young & beautiful old building scheduler because I am the old and homely new building scheduler.

Oh, the rules! Personal/family events (except funerals and weddings) can be bumped by almost anything else. Stake trumps Ward. Never schedule the Primary room any time, any day. It must always be available for baptisms. Tuesday belongs to one ward's youth, Wednesdays to the other's. First Fridays belong to Young Single Adults. Second Fridays to Single Adults. Or maybe the other way around, but never schedule anyone else anywhere in the building those days. Don't schedule anyone on Saturday morning 9-10 am – cleaning time. Except on the second Saturday when cleaning time is 10:30-1 even though Stake baptisms are 2nd Saturday's at 10. Usually different activities may be held in different areas of the building at the same time, but not during Stake baptisms, funerals or weddings. I do not handle access or security and I do not loan out chairs and so forth. This may not be quite as simple as I anticipated.

We put up a curtain rod between the dining room and family room and hung up sheets. Now we can have the heater on low in the family room, keep it comfortable for the bird (and people), and not lose (much) heat. I was thinking we could have the kitchen/garage door partly open while we are at David & Teresa's graduation ceremony, but with the weather we're having lately, that won't work maybe even if we got actual curtains which isn't likely soon. Maybe if I did the same thing with the space between the kitchen and the dining room? – Probably we will borrow Debi’s doggie gate and block Anna from the hallway and bedrooms. We can put the cat food and cat boxes in that area. If the cats do get outside, they can get into the garage through their secret under the house passage, so we will have supplies there, too.

It is supposed to SNOW HERE tomorrow. During the early morning. Snow fall and accumulate according to the forecast. Benjamin says he wants to walk to Seminary so he can tell his children that he walked to Seminary in the snow. But he wants me to pick him up. I would like to either stay in bed all day or snuggle by the fireplace, but I suppose I will go to work. Sigh

Will he really get up early and walk to Seminary? Who knows? He is at least slightly crazy.

Tuesday December 8

Benjamin did not walk to Seminary Monday. He woke up at 4am and a couple of times after that to check the weather. Rain, no snow. Not quite the same appeal.  So I drove him, which turned out to be a good thing! Google maps said it would take about an hour and ten minutes to walk. He would have given himself an extra 20-30 minutes. We arrived at the church to find the teachers out in the parking lot. The code box had re-set itself and did not recognize their codes. Brother Beutler came to take care of it, but Seminary was half over by then and several students had left - including Bro. Beutler's daughter who did know he was coming.

We actually got home soon enough that I could have ridden my bike. But I didn't. Light Rail arrived on time. No seat, but not too crowded. (one of the riders asked about you – no one either of us ‘knows,’ just someone who rides the same train) Things were looking good. Not for long. The driver began making announcements we could not hear. The train sat and waited several minutes at 65th and again at a couple of other stops. At 29th and R or S, it was "Everybody off!". RT was sending buses. I have been through that - hundreds of people waiting and waiting for over-crowded buses. I walked in to 9th and N. I had thought I might pick up the Blue line at 16th, but there was a train stuck there. Both the Gold Line (from Folsom) and the Blue Line (from City College and points south) were out of service. – I found out later that co-workers on the Blue Line got ousted at Broadway. – Instead of being early to work, I was late, but only a few minutes. They had everything cleared up by mid-morning, so the home commute was fine.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

We never got any snow, but it’s been cold enough. Down in the 20’s overnight and highs struggling for the low 40’s. I suppose that sounds warm to Andrew now! Not to us. Benjamin and I have not been biking. Oh, well. It’s easier to do errands after work if I don’t have to go home to get the car. Monday, I had to gas the car and I looked (in vain) for curtain rods to block off the kitchen. I might get them another time, but no panic now as I am picking up Debi’s doggie gate tonight and will not have the garage door open.

Last night was the Relief Society Dinner. Women only. I guess they do that so single women don’t feel badly? Camellia City always allowed the sisters to have guests. (In my case whether they wanted to or not). The Young Men (including, Benjamin, of course) served. The sisters all thought they were wonderful. (of course. They were.) The program was an intermix of musical numbers and talks about service. The main speaker was a lady who runs Parker Family Resource Center under the auspices of the Sacramento Unified School District. They serve children through-out the district. The Relief Society collected toys for them for their Toys for Joy program and will be supporting them through various projects in 2010. Kathy Born (whose husband just received his endowments Saturday) talked about how her Visitng Teachers helped her through various health problems and surgery recoveries. Oh, her VT knew that she had had an heirloom pair of pearl earrings stolen and that she wished she had pearl earrings to wear to the temple as she had liked seeing them on other sisters and so her visiting teacher gave Becky her own earrings so she would have them when Jim was endowed. (She looked pretty happy in prayer circle. ) Sister Pesquera talked about helping Domingo’s family in the Philippines. Then Miriam called me and I left.

Now I am leaving you. Lunch break is over.

Ta Da!

Teresa emailed this at 2:33pm

DAVID JUST FINISHED ALL HIS COURSEWORK ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO!!!!!!!
NOW FINISHED WITH HIS BACHELORS DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for coming to my party

My good friends,
Thanks for your words of wisdom and caring.

Father of Five,
I have to laugh. When Catholics say "Saints" you mean individuals recognized by the church as exceptionally holy. When LDS say "Saints" we mean us. Not that we ARE exceptionally holy, but that we are supposedly striving to become such. In fact, you may or may not realize that the S in LDS is Saints. We are The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
We do not pray to anyone other than God. Some people think we worship Moroni and/or Joseph Smith. We don't. We just respect them a lot, among others.   I have read brief accounts of the lives of some of the saints (Catholic definition) and truly admire them as well. 

I did include my lost Touch in my regular prayers and a couple of extras, and I found it the next morning. I wondered if maybe the Lord thought I was spending too much time with it and needed a little wake up call.  
 
Still on the Touch.  Today was foggy and I didn't want my boy biking in it unnecessarily, so I waited at the church for his early morning religion class.  After walking the dog around a couple of blocks, I let her loose in the back parking lot and started to organize my applications on my Touch.  We got home quickly enough that I had the option of biking anyway or taking light rail.  The fog was part of why I didn't want to bike, but really I wanted to keep 'working' on my Touch.  Except I put it down at home and forgot to pick it up.  Then the train was so crowded it was standing room only (not unusual) and so jerky that I was holding on with both hands to keep from falling on others.  We were all getting to know each other pretty well! Anyway, unTouchable. Great discussion about sci-fi books between several of the passengers, however.
 
I am glad that you worked your way out of your rut.  I am mostly out of mine, too.  Aspects of course remain, but they are dealt with or put in the background and ignored.  I know that I have a very blessed life.
 
 

Full Original Serenity Prayer

by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Oops. Late for work! bye!

You are invited to my pity party, but you might not want to come.

I was writing a pity party post, answered the phone, and somehow the whole thing just disappeared. Figures.
Here we go again:

My boss let me take off early yesterday because it was Benjamin’s birthday. Got outside and found my back tire was flat. Took it apart, could not find the leak, put it back, pumped it up and rode. This morning I found the leak, but not the cause which is worrisome, patched, pumped and rode. I wonder if I will have to pump before riding home tonight?

When I got to work yesterday, my iPod Touch was not in my purse. Not too alarmed, I expected to find it on my bed at home. Nope. Benjamin and I looked everywhere we could think of without success. I hadn’t been out and about with it at all between waking up and discovering it missing. Discouraging mystery. I was really sad and upset with myself. The mystery was solved when I found it this morning in my camel pack. ??? Glad to find it, but I don’t know why I put it there. That does not fit the usual pattern. Also, doesn’t still fit in the pity party, but it did yesterday.
I only had one small present for Benjamin. He calls it a puppet. It is a small wooden human model.

My ex dropped by unexpectedly. Oh well, unannounced saves us negative anticipation, right? Not exactly certain what his primary reason was. Joseph had emailed him a couple of weeks ago that he had mail at our house – probably junk, but we don’t know. Glen said that he was in the area getting a hair cut and thought he would see if we were home. He also told Ben Happy Birthday and asked him if he felt different now that he is 17. Also, he had left a Happy Birthday message on the answering machine for Benjamin. It was not a bad visit, but I do not desire his company.
Glen also told me about a neat present he is sending Andrew. Snap and use RE-USEABLE handwarmers! Very nice. They only last a couple of hours, but he is sending more than one pair. They get hard as they are used up, then you heat them in hot water and they liquefy and become useable again. Amazing. Great for Andrew! But now I feel bad. My ‘big gift’ was 40 pairs of regular single use handwarmers. They do last for several hours. But then they are done. Lame by comparison. At least Andrew, and probably his companion, will have warm hands. I also sent him a CD and a scarf. Oh the thrill of it all.

Continuing in the theme of ‘my ex continues to ruin my life and especially my future’ (my current life is pretty good except I don’t have enough time for it!) : I recently learned that my share of his retirement declines every year he continues to work. If he retires this year, I will get $1300 - $200 less than I get in spousal support (which will discontinue). On Benjamin’s next birthday, I naturally lose child support - $800. I have to figure out how to live on at least $1000/month less than I have now. Glen will retire, when he retires, at full pay which is currently nearly $6500/month. I earn little more than a third of what he makes. I have 2 years towards my retirement, so have to work into and possibly past my late. late 70s – if my health holds. That’s a long time. I could get promotions, but frankly, I am a little old and tired and don’t know how ambitious I can be. I don’t actually have an affinity for this accounting stuff and I do not want to go into management. I don’t think I will climb very far. If my health fails, let’s hope I die quickly, because I won’t have enough to live on even if there is no more inflation.
I have always said that my retirement plan is ‘I hope my children like me.’ I hoped that was a little joke, but it looks like my best hope. I am pretty sure that each of them (most of them?) would be willing to provide a corner and a crumb for a couple of months at a time. I am hoping to be able to cover my medical, and, I suppose, my bus trips between homes. I will have to give up all my things. My pets!!!! My nativity collection and my stamps – or I guess I can visit them as they are divided between the children. My books. Thank goodness for libraries! I hope I am not blind. I really hope I can have a laptop by then.
And what if I am not at all healthy? Will they be able/willing to pitch in enough for me to be in a decent old folks home?

As I Was Saying

Benjamin is:


Smart; funny; helpful; a self-starter; observant; trustworthy; kind to animals (even cats which he claims not to like), children, and his aged mother. He is prompt (almost to a fault); dependable; hard working; artistic; and knowledgeable about many things. He is faithful, an excellent student, a pleasant companion. Benjamin has been a major driving force and work horse in sorting and dejunking our house -he found the family room almost single handedly. Benjamin is a good cook, problem solver, hugger, among other things. Benjamin is a great guy. I think he will be a great man and a fantastic husband and father.

Anyone who knows him is probably thinking, “hey, you forgot to mention…”

And he’s cute, too.

Benjamin

My 'baby' turned 17 today.  There's a lot in that for me, but this is not about me, it's about him. 

Benjamin likes to tease me and say, "You know I'm a teenager and teenagers are supposed to......"   
All I can say, is there would be lot fewer grey haired parents if more teenagers were like Benjamin. 

Well, I was going to write about what a great guy he is, but instead, I am going to cut my break short, cut my work day short and go home and be with him.