Monday, November 2, 2015
Whether I take this street or that doesn't make much difference as long as they get me to work and home again. Variety can be interesting. Detours need not keep me from my goal. But I was thinking that once we find the path to eternal life, even though it may be tedious, repetitious, and even difficult, it is vital that we stay on that path. Detours can be dangerous and lead us off in the wrong direction. Hold to the rod. Stay on the true path. It is the only way to get where we want to go.
2015.11.02 1530 CalPERS tells me that it may be 60 days before they figure out what his retirement will be and what my share will be. Which sounds like it may be 2 months (or so?) before either of us gets a check. This may be a little unpleasant for me and difficult for him. He had said he was going to check into getting his Foresters (401K?). It isn't much, but could help tide him over. CalPERS said one should start the paperwork 3 months before retiring. oh. I guess we find out "next year."
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Miriam went with Ruth and family to visit Sariah for a week over the 4th of July. She did not participate in a lot of their activities - a hike, a day a the zoo. She took it somewhat easy. They got back Tuesday. Miriam had dinner at Ruth's, went home, and didn't get out of bed except to use the bathroom until she called Ruth Thursday asking for help. Ruth called me. Miriam and her landlady that she rents a room from she would say are friends. But they didn’t pay any attention at all to the other's comings and goings and Miriam could expect any help from her. Like knowing if she was sick in bed, bringing ice for her swollen legs,or helping her if she could not go downstairs for food. Ruth brought her home and mother henned Miriam a little, for almost a month. thank goodness!
I had suspected that this time would come, but these things almost always come sooner than expected. I told Miriam long ago that she didn't have to struggle to be on her own, that she would have a home here. The plan pretty much would be for her to live/home base here and visit her siblings when she needs to get away.
However before Miriam could move, I needed to do some serious de-junking and shuffling, so we would have a room for her. I had thought that after Benjamin got married and moved out, that I would start working on the house. But we began to realize an urgency. I took a family sick day one Friday early to get started. David and Teresa came over to help the next day. We worked at it a bit on evenings and more on Saturdays.
The plan was to clean out the "office/craft room/stow it/cat room" and paint it. Move Joseph and Andrew in there, me and the office/craft room into the "master" bedroom which the three guys occupied, and give Miriam the corner bedroom I was. It's a room she shared with Sariah long ago and has a door handle easier for her to use. I feel a little guilty taking the biggest room and not giving it to her - but I do have the office and craft stuff. And David and Teresa are pretty sure that she would feel too much of a imposition if she had the master room.
Getting things out took much longer than I figured. I am so disorganized and have so much junk that this was a major undertaking. We had to postpone plans to paint the guys' room - which would have been so much fun! We plan to paint it camouflage and I imaged a bit of a wild painting party. Some sorting and dejunking happened, but in reality, I have probably months of sorting to do - if I am diligent.
Benjamin and Bethany are wed and on their honeymoon, but do not have an apartment. It took a lot of doing, but they have completed all the paperwork for one. Last I heard, the previous tenant who was supposed to be out weeks ago, wasn't. Hopefully the apartment will be available when they get back. If not, what do do? Options are: Stay in Bethany's old room. Nobody seems to like the idea. and it's far from anywhere or from public transportation. 2. stay in a hotel/motel for a few days. Hopefully a few days. OR 3. stay in my family room. Not much privacy, but they are welcome.
Until they get a place, Benjamin's stuff is stacked about in the front room.
Despite my boss to the 3rd power decreeing that no one in Accounting may have vacation in June, July, or August, I took a week of family sick leave to dig out Miriam's room. We got the room pretty nice, but the rest of the house remains a shambles. It will take me quite awhile to attain order. I come home from work too tired to do much of anything so it will be slow going.
Also, Miriam needs to do the same thing with the room she has been renting. Sort, pack, and move things from a not really big, but bigger room and garage storage area to her new room. And we need to help her, of course. She is not feeling well and needs to stay off her feet because of sores. Naturally there is a time limit. We don't want her to have to pay rent after this month. I think we can do it.
You may recall that I was recently released as Primary President. I was sad about it at the time. Now I see that the Lord knew my plate was going to be pretty full and He gave me one less set of responsibilities to worry about. And sent a friend to do the wedding brunch as a gift to Benjamin and I. What a blessing! The wedding was at the end of move-in week and I simply could not have done it as I had thought before I knew Miriam needed to come home (even with the help of darling daughters). AND He inspired another friend to call and volunteer use of his trailer to help move Miriam's furniture later this month. We had not thought to ask these friends. We did not know that they could help. But the Lord knew and they listened to His promptings. Tender Mercies!
Sunday, July 12, 2015
The sweetest thing. My second counselor, Pam was angry when they told her we were being released. I thought that as she is so much more organized than I am and better prepared for Share Time and more orderly and responsible, that I irritated her a lot. But no, She was upset! I was touched. I got a good hug Sunday.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
What I figure is that, despite my curiosity, it is not important that we know about Him, but it is important that we learn to know how He communicates with us and for us to act on His promptings. If I become more in tune with Him, will I learn more about Him as an individual? Isn't it strange to have the potential of a best friend who can be with you all the time, and not really know Him as Himself, but only as His function? I know He is real. I have been blessed by His help and guidance from time to time. I do need to work on our relationship.
I think I may describe the members of the Godhead as like being on a team. Each of them distinct individuals working in different ways for the same purpose.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Today David, Teresa, Andrew, Joseph, and I biked together to the Farmers Market at Oak Park, City Bicycle Works, Midtown Farmer's Market, the ward picnic at McKinley Park and home again for a total of a little over 14 miles.
With our plans to bike to church tomorrow, that put me within 5 miles and Andrew within 15 miles of our latest goal of 350 miles in May is Bike Month. So we rode to the library with David and Teresa and then on to their home and back. That did it for me. Tomorrow when I bike home from church, I anticipate reaching 351 miles. Andrew is currently plotting a 10 mile evening ride for the same result.
Joseph has 144 miles and is heading out the door on a 16 mile errand. His goal is to double his original goal of 80 miles. I don't think Teresa rode much before this month but she has 83 miles now and David has 244.9 (I think that includes today for both of them, but I am not sure). Their bike to church will be at least 5.8 miles each way. Does Teresa realize that means she has at least 94 miles....?! A little tempting, don't you think. (Her original goal was 76)
Honestly I am quite impressed with all of us. And we have had fun.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Oh, the variety of conflicting feelings!
She is not quite two blocks from the Employment Development Department and from the Personnel Board. I wonder if she has gone inside there. I didn't stop to ask or advise. What if she doesn't know? If so, I should have. Maybe she has and checks back repeatedly. Governmental wheels grind slowly.
Maybe she looks for work every day. It can be pretty tough. And if you are homeless, how does an interested employer contact you?
Curious approach: Do you support my right to ask for help?" For some reason I found it irritating. Although, I suppose anyone has the right to ask for help. Of course, she wants financial support, not just theoretical.
How much of the irritation was guilt?
For being irritated which is not very Christian. For teetering on judgmental, also not Christian. And, of course, for not giving her any money. On the way out, I had none. I was on my way to deposit a check at the ATM. Which, of course, meant that had I so chosen, I could have given her $20 on my way back. Maybe I could afford to give one person $20, but I certainly cannot afford to give every beggar I see (or would you prefer petitioner?) $20.00! I have to manage carefully to keep myself and household going. ok, granted, I am saving up to take myself and some of my children (who are also not frequent visitors to say the least!) to Disneyland next year. (Is it wrong to go to Disneyland, or the movies, or to buy ice cream when there are people going hungry?)
So I am not impoverished. But if I gave to every beggar, I would be. Soon I would be on the street myself.
I console myself that I donate regularly to the charity I trust most to truly help people in need. I donate to Fast Offering which specifically helps the hungry and those who might not be able to pay their utility bill or rent, etc. In smaller amounts I donate to Humanitarian Aid, Perpetual Education, Temple Attendance and Missionary Funds. I know that none of that money is wasted.
Sometimes we carry lunch bags in the car with a cracker/tuna package,plus maybe some raisins, perhaps a bottle of water, sometimes some hard candy. Stuff like that. It varies. Which we give to beggars on the street. If they have a dog, we give them two. I hear stories of rich people who make tons of money street begging. But I know that real need exists, too.
I am not a total grinch, but I am not much of a philanthropist.
How do you handle the charity question? I do not find it an easy one.
Monday, March 9, 2015
A lot like life. Here we are with things to learn and trials to overcome. Some we must do on our own, some we need to help each other. We need to listen to and recognize the promptings of the Spirit. As much as we can and should help each other, at the end it is up to each one of us to make it as individuals by accepting the atonement of Christ and following Him. No one can just drag us through, it has to be our own choice. The ultimate win will be to have a forever family return to Heavenly Father together and the better we work together the easier it is for each and all of us.
with toil and endeavour,
I wish I could sleep
for ever and ever;
but then this reflection
my longing allays:
I shall be doing it
one of these days.
- Piet Hein
I keep thinking this. And that I really wish I could properly observe napping day (today, March 9th, but no nap in sight). But back on topic. I don't think we will be sleeping forever. Or perhaps at all. And that thought makes me tired, too. Until I realize that our perfected bodies (WHAT will that be like? Maybe neither I nor anyone else will recognize me!) anyway, our perfected bodies will not get tired. Oh, what a happy thought. And as a lot of my emotional exhaustion is tied in to physical weariness and always feeling like I have too much too do or at least too little me to do it (big as I am), I don't think that (emotional exhaustion) will be a problem either. Sounds like something to look forward to!!
For now, for exhaustion, I could try to get more and better sleep. ha ha. And to think about happy things and things I am looking forward to. (bad grammar to end with a preposition, isn't it) Positive attitude => positive energy. And to try to give myself credit for what I do get done, try to look at my To Do list in bite-size pieces, and listen to music or something that makes me laugh - The Satellite Sisters.
Break is over, back to the salt mines. So glad I don't really work in salt mines!!! I <3 br="" california="" parks.="" state="">3>
Saturday, February 21, 2015
I awoke in the night and knowing that today is No Alarm Clock Saturday, but also knowing that I seldom manage to sleep in much past my normal alarm time and often even wake up earlier, I still picked up my phone to play "for a few minutes."
You know that those few minutes can go on a little longer than intended or than we realize. Also, electronic devices can wreck havoc with sleeping because their light or something affects our melatonin. We are told to avoid screens time for 30 minute or an hour or so before bed. R-i-g-h-t ! like books, you know the kind with paper (non-lit) pages) are safer! How many hours of sleep have I lost to books??!!
But back to the question. Is it a sin? It might be foolish. Ok, it probably is foolish. Is it a sin to be foolish? It certainly is not god-like and supposedly we are trying to become more like God.
What is sin?
I asked my church. That is I went to the lds.org website and typed the search "What is sin?". "To commit sin is to willfully disobey God's commandments or to fail to act righteously despite a knowledge of the truth (see James 4:17)."
I almost felt relief. Except we are commanded to take proper care of our bodies and " retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated” (D&C 88:124).
Among the other answers to the question was this article which I find encouraging (not encouraging to play games at night, though) "Sins and Mistakes" Mistakes, even stupid mistakes (are there smart mistakes?) are not sins. (But when we know better it's not a mistake, right?) In this article,the Prophet Joseph Smith, Jr is quoted as saying, “What many people call sin is not sin.” (Don't be so hard on others. and probably yourself. We are not authorized to judge others, anyway.) That same article says, "A fool is a fool, not a sinner."
Ok, honestly, I don't know if playing games when I should be sleeping is a "sin." Not a great idea. Certainly not the worst sin I need to worry about having committed (wouldn't that be nice!!). But probably not a "sin". Should I repent of it? I don't suppose that it would hurt and I absolutely need practice at repenting. Why we (that is to say I) do not repent is another topic worth considering (unfortunately often).
However we are now heading to another question which is, "Is blithering on in my blog when I have more things to do than day (and energy) to do it a sin?"
I am now going to go get some laundry started (unless someone has beat me to it).
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
I think this is often true in our lives. When things seem to be at their worst, if we will hold on with faith, we will soon receive deliverance. When Joseph Smith Junior made his first effort at vocal prayer, he was assailed by horrific powers of darkness that nearly destroyed him. He continued in prayer and the darkness was dispelled by heavenly light. God, the Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ appeared to him. Few of us get such manifestations, but smaller no less wondrous miracles and relief will come.
We live in a world with much dark coldness. The cruelty and evil that occur all too often in too many places fill me with sorrow. There would be despair, but I know God lives and He knows what is going on. Somehow it is wisdom in Him to allow it. I cannot fathom it, but I trust in His greater perspective, wisdom, and love. As the dark rolls over us, I remember the promise of dawn. The Son will come. May I be ready to greet Him with joy.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
What does it mean to prepare the way of the Lord? The way where?
I think we must first prepare the way to our own heart. One of my sons mentioned briefly a discussion about preparing a road or pathway for nobility by removing stones and other obstacles and smoothing the path. What stones block the path to my heart? Fear? Of what? This is really silly. Fear of being exposed in my weaknesses? HE already knows and has promised to help strengthen me. Fear of punishment? Christ has taken the punishment upon Himself for me already. It is if I reject His gift and refuse to repent that I will suffer. Pride? Laziness? Selfishness? What is worth keeping as an obstacle to opening one's heart and life to Jesus Christ. Nothing.
How can I prepare my way to the Lord? Learn of Him and His word. Read it. Pray about it. Live it, at least really try.
There are moments when I do manage to clear a bit of the path. In those moments there is joy.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
First irony. Family Day commemorates the day that I was sealed in marriage for all eternity in the temple of the Lord. However, a sealing is not automatically forever valid. A sealing is a covenant making between a man, a woman, and the Lord. The Lord always holds up His end but the other two sometimes have problems. That's life. Problems can usually be worked out. My marriage ended in divorce.
I still believe in temple marriage. It is a beautiful, true, eternal principle Perhaps someday I will be blessed to find a truly eternal companion and meet the requirements of sealing. It's possible.
I still believe in family. I love and am very grateful for the beautiful family of children, children-in-law, and grandchildren with which I am blessed.
Second irony, I let myself get too busy and too tired to invite my children together for family day. I know it's just a day we chose and designated. (Actually I designated, which makes it even worse). I can, should, and will invite my family together soon. But I feel disappointed in me.
On the other hand, my sweet daughter-in-law remembered, understood, and invited my household to dinner after church today.
Today is a good day to remember to be grateful for your family and to express love to them. Every day is a good day for that.