It seems that I have been to many
funerals. I have sadly been to funerals where the officiator clearly
did not know the person or his family. Did not say the name
correctly. Said nothing personal. I have been to celebrations of
life. LDS funerals tend to be positive times of shared memories and
testimonies of the Plan of Happiness and Salvation that assures us
that death is not the end. When my great-uncle Esque died last December, I attended probably the most
personal and joyous memorial of all.
The officiator was warm, gracious,
skilled, personal. We very surprised to learn later that he was not
their long time friend and pastor, but that Kathryn had only met him
after Esque died.
My Great Uncle Esque passed away on Dec
17th - a week before Christmas and 11 days before his 85th birthday.
His wife Kathryn was not dismayed about the timing. They had
celebrated together earlier.
Esque was the baby brother of Aurora
Frost who married Gillette George McGinness, my grandparents. He
often told my children and I of the love and kindness my grandparents
showed him and brother Tom.
We were asked to wear bright colors as
we rejoiced in his life rather than mourned. Some of his favorite
music played before the services began. We were invited to share
memories if we so desired. Person after person spoke of his
kindness, work with California State Police, what a gentleman he was,
and the great love he shared with Kathryn. Notable – his
mother-in-law who is weeks younger than he is. Naturally she had
some concerns when her daughter became involved with him, but he won
them over with his love for Kathie and qualities of character. His
neighbor almost could not speak as she wept – how many people even
know their neighbors – let alone weep at their funeral? - She spoke
of him as a dear friend and surrogate grandfather for her little
girls. He was an expert marksman. I remember when he was in bomb
disposal. A man of courage and dedication, generosity, and always good humor.
As one of my sons said, when you visited with Esque, you always left
with a smile.
The officiator eventually had to say,
“This is the last one.” Then we enjoyed a slide show that began
with a newspaper clipping of when their mother saved Esque and Tom
(and Esque's Micky Mouse) from a fire and included him handsome in
his uniform, and many other pictures from his life.
The service concluded with the Lord's
prayer.
Esque was buried with other of my
relatives half a mile from my house at St Mary's Cemetery during the
worst part of a rainy, windy storm. Mourners huddled and shivered as
Esque was honored by the military, the grave was blessed, and the
casket lowered.
Later we met at The Cheesecake Factory where the hostess exclaimed, " I love Esque!"
Kathryn has been strong and brave. She
chose to celebrate life and love.
