Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Good Mormon? Bad Mormon?

Am I a good Mormon? (Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) 

I often feel that I am not.  Of course, I am not nearly as good as I should be.  In so many ways and things I fall short.

I am very far from perfect, yet at the end of the day, I can’t really think of many things for which I need to repent. Or do I CHOOSE not to?  Do I refuse to face them?  I admit to being a bit reluctant to ASK. 

One sister testified that we should be careful what to ask for.  She asked to be shown her failings and was nearly overwhelmed!  Let me tell you, from my vantage point, I would not have thought so about her. 

When I do get up the courage to half-heartedly inquire, I generally ask to just be shown one or two things I should work on now and not the whole list.  Most of the time, I do a brief remembrance of the day and not having gotten drunk,  murdered anyone or robbed any banks, feel like I don’t have too much for which to repent.  Obviously NOT a good Mormon attitude. 

Despite not having much need to repent,  -) (an sign an old friend and I used to use for tongue in cheek),  (A quick on line check says I should use : P  or  : ?, or  : J)

Anyway, despite little need for repentance (pick your symbol), I often think I am not a very good Mormon. 

My home and yard are not beautiful.  (although we have made great improvements.  By “we” I would have to primarily mean Benjamin, but many of us have worked on it.)

Nor am I.  Not particularly well groomed and well dressed in attractive, inexpensive self-made clothing or stunning outfits put together from thrift store finds (preferably Desert Industries) draping a trim and healthy body (gag) . I am basically simply not naked (for which the world is profoundly grateful!) 
I am not constantly cheerful.  

I do not often serve gladly.  I neither serve often enough nor gladly enough.

My children, although wonderful, are not all dedicated, active members, and do not all get along.  In fact, although wonderful, they are not quite perfect, either.

I do not have a flourishing garden from which I preserve our year’s (or more) supply and bestow bounty on my neighbors.  The only things which really seem to flourish are weeds. 

Oh, the list is endless! 

So, am I a BAD Mormon?  No, I don’t think so.  I hope not.  At least not a very bad Mormon.

 I 'do' and 'don't do' many of the things that people think of when they think of Mormons.  But....
I think of Lynn G. Robbins address What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye To Be?

What does it mean to be a good Mormon?  What does it mean to be a good Christian?

Believe in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and daily try to follow him.  Really try. Then recognize failures, repent, and try to do better. 

I try to follow Christ, but do I REALLY try?  Do I do my best? Doubtless not.  Best?!  Seems like there is a simple fix to that, but in practice, it does not seem quite so simple or at least not quite so easy.  

I do think that most of the time, I am facing the right direction and fighting the current that would sweep me along the wrong direction.  Most of the time. Hopefully, that counts for something.

1 comment:

  1. I'll go ahead and say "Good Mormon".

    Admittedly, my knowledge of Mormonism is limited and I am not familiar with all aspects of being LDS, but I do believe you to be a GOOD person and a positive messenger for your church!

    I think "goodness" (as a broad generalization) is the core foundation of what it means to have Christ in your heart. I think if you are a good person - the rest will fall in place.

    I know not everyone agrees with my viewpoint on this, but I truly believe that God understands our fallibility as humans (after all, he created us), and takes that into consideration upon our judgement.