Friday, April 23, 2010

Happily Ever After

A thought for today in my email:

"Temple marriage covenants do not magically bring equality to a partnership. Those covenants commit us to a developmental process of learning and growing together—by practice. ". . . Equal partnerships are not made in heaven—they are made on earth, one choice at a time, one conversation at a time, one threshold crossing at a time. And getting there is hard work."
Bruce C. Hafen, "Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners," Ensign, Aug. 2007, 28

I can tell you that is true.  It sometimes seems that Mormons think that getting married in the temple guarantees a happily-ever-after.  The sealing covenants are, like pretty much everything else, promises with conditions.  We have to keep our part of the bargain - at least act in good faith.

My mother and husband #3 went to the temple to bolster a failing marriage.  That didn't work.  It only complicated things when they divorced and each married somebody else.

My ex and I were sealed in the temple, but sealings don't prevent or solve problems. 

I do believe in temple covenants and temple marriages.  Nothing can be more wonderful than knowing that you and your loved ones belong to each other forever.  It just takes a lot more than a ceremony performed by the proper authority, although that is necessary.   It takes truly loving each other as an unselfish active verb not just a warm feeling once in a while - a way of life, a deep personal commitment. It takes being close to the Lord.  Being honest with each other. It takes treating each other with respect and kindness.

I do believe in happily ever after and I wish it for all I love (oh, everyone else, too), but you have to work for it.


  1. So true.

    It is a lot of hard work, and many frustrations. But, I can say, after nearly 22 years, Bill and I are doing well. We have it mostly figured out, and our main success is our mutual love for the kids. Oh, and our mutual love and respect for each other helps too. :D

  2. "Marriage relationships can be enriched by better communication. One important way is to pray together. This will resolve many of the differences, if there are any, between the couple before going to sleep. I do not mean to overemphasize differences, but they are real and do make things interesting. I believe our differences are the little pinches of salt that can make the marriage seem more flavorful."

    James E. Faust, "Enriching Your Marriage," Ensign, Apr. 2007, 6