Cap reminds me of Scott

While donating platelets yesterday I watched "Captain Phillips".

Captain Phillips as portrayed by Tom Hanks or Tom Hanks as Captain Phillips, I am not sure which, kept reminding me of my last good boss, Scott Hart.

Patch Work - Kitchen Project Restart

 About 10 years ago we fixed up my kitchen - replaced my worn to the subfloor floor and rotted through sink cabinet.  Men from the church donated the work and I bought the materials.  Unfortunately, despite the work being led by a professional contractor, something went seriously wrong with the floor. After carefully following instructions on seasoning(or whatever you call it) the tiles and grout, as soon as we started using the floor we had problems.  Grout came up with every sweeping.  Tiles came loose, broke and cracked.  When I told the job boss, he didn't say "I'll look at it."  or tell us what to do, he simply said, "Not the part I did."  Which was not true.  In short order the floor  became dangerous.  and so it has been increasingly since.  I have been leery of hiring someone to fix it, partly because of cost and even more because the fellow who failed me was both a church member and a professional.  Before I realized how badly that job was done, I also hired him to roof my house and put up gutters. He changed things that we had agreed upon without consulting me or even informing me.  I found out when I saw it.  The gutters were not done correctly, either.  So, far at least, the roof has not leaked.  Of course the first few years after he did the roof we were in a drought, so i worried for a long, long time.

A couple years (?) ago, my son-in-law, Thomas,  and his full time employer parted company - foolish employer, I say.  He started trying to build up his DJ business and also became a Notary Public.  Tom is a man I trust and suddenly he was more master of his time.  I asked him to head up my home work and offered to pay him what I think are good handyman wages.  This was agreeable to him, but between one thing and another  (including successful work as Notary Public - the good news - and the pandemic- not so good) the work has gone very slowly.  Mostly the dangerous floor tile was taken up and we walked around on the under flooring, but at least it didn't try to trip us.  Tom came up with plans to replace all my cabinetry - not just that which we replaced 10 years ago which also had problems, one of which was partly my fault.  (I got my double size sink - which I love! - but did not insist on under mount.  What did I know? Being mounted on top of the counter meant that when you wipe the counter, the wipe-ee had to go over the mound of the sink to go down in it.  NOT good. )(Even worse, during deconstruction, Tom discovered that the sink - counter connection had never been sealed.  When we wiped moisture towards the sink much of it went down under the sink into the counter.)  Tom and a cabinet maker friend worked out the plans.  The cabinet maker made the pieces and Tom worked on putting most of them together in his garage between notary public gigs.

Finally each of us independently decided that enough is enough, the work must go on.  He decided to take a break from his flourishing notary public work to help me.  Sweet guy.   We talked and decided to face the (rather low) risk of exposing each other (and by extension our households) and get back to work on site.

I was nearly paralyzed at the thought of completely clearing out my kitchen preparatory to the job.  Blessings on her, Teresa came over and master minded most of that.  David and the guys moved the major appliances  to the dining room and   cupboards into boxes, bins, shelves, and table tops all over the house.  Instead of the kitchen sink, we use the bathroom sink and the backyard hose.  One thinks twice before dirtying a dish or pot!

With the help of Jared, Esther, and Ruth,  and Andrew, Tom cleaned up the floor down to the subfloor and took out all the cabinets.

As Melissa said,"What kitchen?  I don't see a kitchen."
But Tom looks pleased with his accomplishments.

They fixed cracks and painted.  He did some re-wiring. 

Ruth, Jared, and Andrew after a long day of work on June 20, day 2, while Tom finishes up something.

Monday, June 22 - putting together big cabinets.

Leaving their mark behind the cabinets.

Being an old lady, I mostly stay out of the way and admire their skill and industry.

Thinking of you

Thinking about someday seeing Jesus Christ, I imagined thanking Him for His Atoning Sacrifice and being sorry for all the pain that He suffered, especially what He suffered because of me. I asked Him how could He bear all that pain.

He said, "I was thinking of you."


We have been taught that Christ suffered the pains, sins, disappointments, illnesses, struggles, sorrows of all of us, of each of us, that He might pay the price of our sins and be able to succor us in our troubles.  I believe He that He suffered it all not, or not only,  as some huge faceless mass of pain, but with each us in His heart and thoughts, seeing each of us , our faces, our lives in the eyes of His mind.  Individually and personally.

Disney Dazed

I have "always" wanted to go on a Disney Cruise to Alaska.   A few years ago, I went on my first cruise and, so far only, Disney cruise with Sariah, Aurora, and Mary Jane - a 3 day Cruise to Nowhere out of San Diego.  Loved it. 

A year or two ago, I passed up the opportunity to go on an Disney Alaskan Cruise with Sariah's family.  Ryan's mom and stepfather went  and LOVED it. 

A number of things make it hard to decide.  One, of course, is expense.  Disney Cruises are way expensive, more than most.  However, I have yet to find a person who will say it is not worth the extra cost.  And I have asked.

Also, my home needs work.  The kitchen project was already moving much more slowly and had become more involved than I had anticipated, but the the cornona virus thing came up and work has stopped completely.  Once the kitchen is done, there is major work that must be done in the family room (a rotten wall, no kidding).  and minor work throughout.  Time and money. It would help if I could do any of the work, but I don't think I can and my guys, wonderful though they are in many ways, are not much help there, either.

Another concern is being away from home.  We had one year when Miriam was in the emergency room and hospitalized at least 4 times.  Internal bleeding.  Because of her Lupus, Miriam has been on powerhouse drugs for decades.  Prednisone, while saving her life, has also made her body tissues more fragile.  The problem is largely addressed now with some medication and  being very careful what she eats, nothing acidic or that would scrape her insides. She has been doing well since.

Miriam and I are in a race to see who will die first.  (We are not trying very hard to win, nor are we urging the other on!)  She because of her Lupus and I because I am getting old.  I am about the age when my mother and grandmother died.  If I wait to see if I outlast Miriam, I may not ever get to go or do anything. Either because I go first or because I am too decrepit by then. And, as I say, I have no desire to push her off. She is somewhat disabled, but she is still very much alive.  She is not afraid to die, but she is in no hurry either. And what would our Relief Society (church women's organization) do without her informative and helpful Facebook posts, weekly emails, and other updates?!

Some months ago, I finally decided to book a cruise.  Sariah and I are sailing in September 2021- 7 days. Mary Jane and Sam MIGHT go with us, although it is looking unlikely.  or David and Teresa (I could hope!)  I will turn 70 on the cruise.  It seems like a long way away, but also I realize it will be over all too soon.  I won't say I think about it ALL the time, but I do think about it a lot.  Sometimes worrying about preparing - what clothes and shoes? - and what about the home front - but mostly enjoying the anticipation. 

Here is an email I did not send to Sariah

Written in October 2019-

Sariah, I am so Disney dazed.  I already have some Fish Extender Gifts.  One tote per cabin.  Trying to decide if I will want to get a tote per person.  These are just over a dollar each from Oriental Trading Company.  So that adds up fast, but I like them.  Also a polar bear ornament and a deer or moose ornament for each cabin. 

Teresa asked me what I am going to do for my fish extender receiver.  I told her I have no idea yet.  But I want to wait until we have some idea of who is going, who is participating, and what cabins we have.  It's the gifts I am worried about.  I feel like I have a good start. I want to do things I would like getting.  And a couple of ideas - how to play shuffleboard  (LOL) and scavenger hunt.  After that, I probably want to wait until I have the group list - so that will be a while since we haven't even committed, let alone booked.  

David has not said no yet.  Teresa has even given him some idea of the cost.  Left to himself, I don't think he would spend that kind of money, but he loves her and she really wants to go and is presenting it as a great 15 anniversary celebration.  I think he will go for it.  Probably not Fish Extender, though.  LOL.  Although I can see her enjoying that.   On a small scale.

June again

Samantha and her partner are looking to buy a house and so are trying to save money.  Mary Jane was just diagnosed with a (treatable) brain tumor and her husband Matthew who does not want to do another Disney cruise to Alaska (she would have come alone)  would like to travel somewhere else together.  So, while they have not said No, I think they are out.   David and Teresa are still undecided.  Well, David is still unconvinced, I think.  It might be just Sariah and I.  Which makes our cabin more expensive each, but I am going!  

We even booked a veranda room!  When Sariah and family sailed before, they had a veranda and loved it.  And got to see the Northern Lights from their veranda which they would have missed otherwise.  Of course, there is absolutely no guarantee of us seeing the lights at all, but still.  Sometimes I think I should have gone for the much less expensive inside cabin.  Some people say why pay more when you will only sleep and dress in your cabin.  If I can manage to sail again (as already I am hoping to in 2022), I might try an inside cabin.  That would be all I could manage if I go alone, anyway.  Some cruisers are very happy with inside cabins.  Others say the veranda is the only way.  I just want to go.  and maybe go again. This time I decided to go for broke and do the most/best I can afford on what might be my only chance. 

I have more fish extender gifts now.  Even though they are small and inexpensive individually, it would be appalling if I had gotten them all at once.  I must stop.  I don't even know who they will be for yet.  It is more fun to think about Fish Extender gifts than what to wear.  Layers.  I should be able to manage layers without additional expense. I have a rain suit.  I think a rain jacket and sweatshirt should be good.  Maybe two sweatshirts if it is really cold.  I am a little concerned about shoes.  Sandals, crocs, and canvas shoes do not seem suitable. I do have one pair of winter boots that might be good for excursions, but certainly not for wearing all the time! Maybe the crocs and canvas shoes will be enough on board.  I don't like buying shoes and don't know what to get.  Fortunately, I have time. 

I should learn to anticipate and work towards heaven as much as I do a Disney cruise!  I do hear that heaven is better than Disneyland, Disney World, or a Disney Cruise. 

plenty to eat

     Carol is my "cousin."  Actually, she is my ex-cousin-in-law.  But one does not  break off all related affiliations when one gets divorced.  She is also a member of the same ward (congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints).  And lives right around the block. Also, a nice person.

So naturally, when she had surgery, I was interested in helping with meals when she got home. We have a compassionate service coordinator who helps make sure that people who need meals get one on the days they need them.   When we got word that Carol was home and we were bringing in dinners, I emailed that I would take her dinner Friday. So did Michelle. There was no sign up sheet. So I told Miriam (my daughter, assistant RS secretary and often help to the coordinator who can't do online sign up sheets) to let Michelle go ahead and put me on Sunday. Then Lorretta called me and said that she was doing Sunday. I THOUGHT I emailed Miriam to put me on Saturday - which wasn't really convenient, but ... - later Miriam told me Holly signed up for Saturday. I knew Teresa had Monday, the last day of sign-ups.   I tried to call Carol a couple times without success. so Tuesday afternoon I went over to her house and told her I would bring her dinner. Later I went back with the dinner to find Loretta there who had just brought dinner!

fudge!

    June 2 is"Yell Fudge at Cobras Day".

You see Cobras hate fudge.  It makes them gag.  Now, you may say there are no cobras native to North America.  You are right.  Do you know why?  Every June 2, brave, dedicated Americans go outside at noon, face south, and yell "Fudge!"  This frightens any cobras who might be considering immigrating. 
 
Another way to discourage the cobras is to make fudge as they will smell it and stay away.

So yesterday, June 2, I made some easy fudge (possibly for the first time in my life?) and took a few pieces to the homes of each of my locally residing children.  Then I texted them to inform them that I had left a little cobra protection on their porch. 

Left it in time for them to yell, too. 

No cobras here.

Go or Stay Home?

Retirement is "supposed" to be the time to do things you have always wanted to do.  Travel for instance.  I want to do road trips, visit friends, and family, see beautiful places, cruise.  Of course, money is an issue, but mostly there's the concern about whether I should be away from home.  The guys do a lot to help with Miriam, but I feel responsible.

Although Miriam does her own personal care - dresses, bathes, and feeds herself -  we do have to serve her a lot.  Preparing and bringing food.  And you cannot really plan and prepare ahead, because how she feels and what she can eat changes. Laundry.  If there is more than a little walking involved, we need to at least walk with her, but more likely use the wheelchair.  It doesn't sound like a lot, and the guys already do a great deal, maybe more than I do.  And I know I have left for a week or more in the past, even taken Andrew so Joseph was taking care of things alone, but it seems less of a good idea and seems like a lot to ask of them. 

I don't know if - I will ever be free.  Nor can I wish to be, right? 

Or if I am, by then will I be too old and decrepit to do anything?

I hesitate to take a short road trip.  I want to go visit my tree where my ashes will be placed in Better Place Forest near Point Arena, but I don't know about being gone 2-3 days.  And yet I have booked a 7 night Disney Alaska Cruise for September 2021.  Plus travel time and maybe a tourist day or two in Vancouver, B.C.