Saturday, August 15, 2009

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

George Bush 41st president of US (1924 - )

Some time ago I decided to give myself a birthday present of going to MacKerricher State Park this year. I love it there and haven't been there in ages. Last year my kids spent a week there having a special time together. Great for them. But it was really hard on me. Selfish of me? Immature? perhaps. It was one of the hardest things in my life. (I guess I have had a pretty good life.)

I promised myself a trip there. Also, I realize that the nature of life is that I need to learn to be on my own more and not family dependent. It seems that all my life my plans (most especially any remotely fun plans) have always depended on someone else. What they want or don't want or can or cannot do. Too much so. I am trying to learn to live my own life. If I want to do something (I can afford to do), go for it. Whether or not loved ones join me.

I requested time off and made camping reservations. My children were invited to join me if they wish. I figured the guys who live with me would come. And if not, my dog and I would have a good time anyway. So far no bites from the grown and flown. But that's ok, I didn't really expect it, was just open to the possibility. Only reserved the one site, anyway.

Then Benjamin and I and his school adviser all agreed it would be great for him to take a class at the community college. Scheduling proved difficult. He ended up getting a class that meets 4 hours on Friday. (He misses Friday Forum at Institute (LDS Institute of Religion where students can take religion classes and/or hang out) But at he still has Seminary (Rumor is our until recently Home Teacher is going to teach. Seminary, that is.). Doesn't get out until 2.

Dilemma - Does he miss a class? Not a great idea. 4 hours is a LOT of class to miss. Especially as we have to work out our schedule to go to DAVID'S GRADUATION FROM CAL POLY in December. Ben might miss time then.

Do I go without him? Will Joseph go? Do I go alone? Do I cancel?

Joseph said he would go. (This is the young man who does not really like camping. Chivalry.)

Then my slow brain finally kicked in. Benjamin is well worth the wait. We would all be happier if we wait and hit the road promptly when his class is over. We will have way more fun one day less with him than one day more without him.

Besides, he makes a mean foil dinner! and is good with fire. And tent setting up. Etc. Not that I just love him for his skills, but they are many.

Now what am I going to do on my birthday? What I want to do is Stamp. What I will probably do is get ready for camping. And not skip my class which meets on Thursdays.

Looking forward to it!


  1. If it weren't such a long drive, I would come. I wish we could go there every year, it's just such a long drive for us! I don't think I'd want to drive it without Ryan. :(

  2. It is a long drive! even from Sacramento. ; )
    Especially that last 20 miles.

    Sariah, I am glad that you make it down here every Thanksgiving and for special events. And that you keep up your blog and email and call. You do well at keeping connected.


  3. Regarding your Dilemma...

    I know my wife and I do not see eye-to-eye on this one - but MY (humble) opinion is that events like these ARE learning opportunities... LIFE LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES...

    So to miss a little "school" to attend a little "school of life".. Eh? What's the foul?

    #2 of 5 was old enough to join me for duck hunting last year... And the "Dilemma" was how much school he was going to miss... Between 1 and 3 days. Then I learned my wife's opinion (unacceptable to miss even ONE day of school for something like hunting).

    We compromised with missing one day.

    But I truly believe that there are many life lessons to be taught and learned while "hanging out" with your mom / dad doing things like camping, fishing, and hunting.

    In this case - my son is starting to learn to be a man. What men do, how men talk, the rituals of our duck camp...

    I learned how to hunt through my best friend and his dad. His dad is very elderly now, and ailing - but he still goes up there to hang with us. He spent the whole weekend teaching my son some of the same things he taught me - he was an Army Marksman back in the 40's and 50's.

    There is plenty of time for school... Missing four hours to spend time with mom camping? I say GO FOR IT!!

  4. Um... That is unless you WANT to go alone... (and I know that feeling as well!)...

    Then I say.... NO WAY! You cant miss that much school... School is WAY TOO IMPORTANT!!

    (Snicker... That's call the "principal of shifting principals")

  5. Here is what I was looking for...

    I do not know if you read this or not... but this is what I am talking about...

    PRIDE (link)

  6. It's pretty freeing to start doing things on your own and just because you want to do them. I was surrounded by very practical, smart and non-procrastinating people in college because I purposely put myself in an honors dorm (knowing me, I needed to be surrounded by responsible people), but they would often choose responsibility over entertainment even on a weekend, when I just needed a break, for goodness' sake. I got used to going to movies by myself. I would probably even enjoy camping by myself, but I agree that family and/or friends make things a lot more enjoyable.

  7. hope all goes well! It is a balance, and a new idea; making plans about what YOU want! good for you.

  8. If it wasn't so far, I'd be willing to take Ben up on Friday after his class and meet you, but I just don't know if I can do a long drive like that for such a short trip. Hm.

    As for the other stuff, it is good to learn to do things just for yourself, it's something I'm working on now, not always waiting for this that or the other.. but doing what I want. :) Your wants/needs are important and should not be put on hold for everyone else.