Last I wrote, I shared some of my anxiety about Andrew's mission. Not about him serving a mission. Just about him surviving the prairie provinces of Canada with any degree of comfort.
I am rather a spiritual midget. I have a testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ, of His restored gospel, of the priesthood, prophets and revelation. Witness has been born to my soul. Nothing dramatic at all, just occasional waves of assurance, warmth, emotion, sureness. Once in a great while. No flaring beacon I. Sometimes I worry whether my pilot light has gone out, it flickers so quiet and low. Of course, I am not nearly as diligent in fanning the flames as I should be!
When Andrew received his mission call I knew it was from the Lord, but I had my personal misgivings. Mother worries about his comfort and welfare. I mean, it really gets mind bogglingly cold there. Brain knowledge and theoretical testimony, but not heart and soul conviction. Finally! I asked the Lord if this is where Andrew is really supposed to go, is this a true call. No angels, no music, no rapturous uplift. But a fullness of feeling that spilled out in tears - not tears of sorrow or fear, good tears. The feeling was brief, so brief I can not words for it, but it was clear. It echoes again as I try (and fail!) to express it. I am still concerned about his comfort and welfare, but it's different now somehow. Andrew is going where God wants him to go. Andrew can do it, I can handle it, God will help.
I am glad you came by to visit. I would enjoy hearing from you.
"Guardian of the Sea" by Nicky Boehme
One of the things I've worked on learning over the last few years, is to just trust the Lord. I used to always want to know the "whys" and "hows" but He doesn't usually tell me those. Finally, I decided to just ask for the confirmation that it's what He wants and if it was, I would just trust Him. He always gives me the answer on that one - and not much more than that. And so far, things have always worked out for the best, and I have been extremely grateful for His wisdom and love; I couldn't have planned anything better than He has. I'm at the point now that I rarely ask "why" or "how" anymore, it doesn't matter. He knows and that's enough for me.
ReplyDeleteHe will know how to help Andrew, He knows what Andrew needs and will need. Andrew will probably be cold sometimes, but he'll be okay. He'll live. ;) And he'll learn and grow. If it's where the Lord wants him, then it's the best place for him to be - cold and all. :)