Sometimes when I think about all the bad things happening the world – and there are PLENTY – I feel so overwhelmingly sad. And helpless. And frustrated. I am convinced that most of our problems, including natural disasters, would be greatly reduced by people accepting and living the gospel of Jesus Christ. Say THAT out loud and you are considered some kind of ignorant, bigoted, severely out-of-date, religiously fanatical KOOK. Modern, scientific, intelligent, educated people would never believe such a thing. Which leaves me with little hope that things are going to get better any time soon. In the meantime, so many innocent suffer. Oh, for the day when the Prince of Peace reigns in righteousness and the earth can be at ease!
Another thing that I have trouble with is separation of church and state. Particularly my desire to be a witness of Christ at all times, and in all things, and in all places. A couple problems there - One (the big one which make number two harder), an acute awareness of my weaknesses which make me a poor example. People are not knocking each other over to ask me the secret of life. Two, evangelizing is frowned upon on the job. It is certainly no secret that I am a Mormon, or member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but I cannot go around asking the Golden Questions or (as I tried once during the Christmas season, but got reproved) have Pass-Along cards on the front desk (where I then sat). and as I said no one is beating a path to my cube (if I only I didn't have problem number one!). Across the walkway from me, is the cube of a Free Will Baptist Minister. We recognize and appreciate each other’s Christianity. He often proclaims himself as a minister. People do come to him. He does minister at work. I feel jealous and inadequate. “Oh,” I think, “he is offering you some of the good fruit of the gospel, but he doesn’t have the whole meal.” I am glad for the good work he does, touching hearts and counseling, but I rather wish I could give him a little competition. That’s not really what I mean, but maybe you understand. I wish that I could share the blessings of the restored gospel. I cannot very well interject myself and tell them, "Hey you are missing some really important things here." It would not be well taken.
Besides, Eli is, truth be told, both more educated and more self-assured. I would not do well.
Any words of wisdom or advice?
Oh, I know, you are going to tell me to rely on the Spirit. Either I am hard of hearing (too often too true) or He hasn't had much to say to me about this lately.