Friday, September 14, 2012

2012.12.13



Thursday,   2012.09.13
Dear Benjamin,
2012.09.13Mom1         Things are a little bit crazy at work.   All the cubicles in this big room, I think, at least all the cubicles on our half of it are going to be completely torn down and rearranged next week.   Supposedly we get larger cubicles out of this.   And all the supervisors will have windows.   Mine doesn’t  now because she inherited the cubical far away from the window that they gave my former supervisor. They moved Liz from a window cube to this one   ““supposedly to be closer to her team.     Maybe so, but she was the only supe without a window and it was not much of a secret that she was NOT the manager‘s favorite.     But now my new supe will have a window.   And they say we will have bigger cubes.   Except I don‘t know if my square footage will go up because my cube will have a support column going through it.   OK by me because they stopped me from hanging signs from the ceiling.   Now I will have a four sided pillar to put things on!!  
2012.09.13Mom2         Thursday next we are supposed to pack.   EVERYTHING. We need to pack up and label everything in our cubical.   But we don‘t get the boxes or carts we are supposed to use until sometime next week. The powers that be rather would like us to take home all or most of our private stuff.   I do need to sort and purge somewhat.   I think that I might put some of my stuff in my bike locker and just lock up Sylvia at the bike rack for a few days.   We are also supposed to take Friday next off because our workstations will be dismantled.   I think they should GIVE us the day off,   but that won‘t happen.   We have to take it on Unpaid Furlough (we have one a month now, but I used mine on my birthday) or vacation.  

2012.09.13Mom3 I am not bright. It happened again. I had typed 1 &2 at work, emailed it to myself, entered it in Dear Elder this evening and then added about 3 more long paragraphs, including discussions of the 116 pages incident, God knowing what we will do when we don  ‘t even know. and degrees of glory. Not that they were brilliant or anything. Then suddenly, I was on a different page of Dear Elder, com. I do not know what I did to make that happen. I tried the back arrow to go back to the page I was writing on which actually has worked at least one before I am sure, but not this time. This is so stupid. And I WAS going to go to bed at a semi-decent time. This always seems to happen right as I am about to wrap up & around 11 which is getting late for me. When will I learn? I am not sure I even trust Office Writer (which I am on now) At least Google Docs auto-saves, but what if it auto-saves immediately after I accidentally erase or whatever it is I do?

2012.09.13Mom4 I am not sure I can recapture those   “greay “ lost thoughts. Reading again the 116 page incident I thought about how awesome that God knew & prepared. It messes with my mind that He knows what we will do when often I don‘t know what I will do or choose until it happens. Will I stay up or go to bed? Will I turn down this street or that? Do I want hamburger or chicken? How does He know that? It’s weird. I cannot think about that stuff too much. I can‘t handle it. God knows stuff. He really knows us. Better than we do ourselves. We cannot mess Him up. He can always make it work. We really should listen when we ask and He answers. If we persist, He will say   “fine, do it your way  , & we will be sorry. What if God had not finally said,   “Ok, but do it this way.   to Joseph and Martin (but Martin didn’t)? I don‘t think that Joseph would have given the pages to Martin if God had not said ok. But Martin probably would have kept asking.  Would Joseph finally have told Martin to give it a rest? More than a rest. STOP, already. It was disobedient enough to keep going back to ask again after getting an answer. But this way we got lessons on learning to listen & obey & the consequences of not, losing blessings, repentance, & forgiveness. It probably helped Joseph later when he dealt with people who apostatized & then came back. He had sinned & been forgiven himself. Maybe that was partly why God let it happen. Part of refining Joseph. But would Joseph have been less refined if he had been more obedient. Probably not. I don‘t think that bad things are part of God‘s plan, but He can work with them to our benefit.

2012.09.13Mom5 I have the sneaky suspicion that even though theoretically all of us CAN achieve exaltation, not that many of us WILL. If God knows everything & knows us so thoroughly, He knows who is going to make it & who isn ‘t. So knowing that maybe most of His children are not going to succeed, why did He go forward with this plan? One big thing is that it would not be fair or heavenly to hold back those who would make it because of those who won‘t. So, here we are (not you) in the lower Ts now knowing and remembering that we failed. Forever. Sounds pretty miserable. Will we be happier then and there than we were in Pre-Earth Heaven? Or happier than we would have been in Pre-Earth Heaven later without the opportunity to progress? I seem to recall that Joseph Smith Jr said something about the lowest T being so incredibly beautiful that we would kill ourselves to get there if it would work   “ which seems to indicate that it might not. But we can be surrounded by beauty & wonders & all the chocolate milkshakes we want without getting sick or fat & still be miserable. I guess I need to try harder

2012.09.13Mom6 I saw an ad   “The Most Beautiful Place on Earth   - for a cruise to Antarctica. Now, really! Just not my first thought or in the top 10 or even 50 or....well, you get the idea. I am sure it is beautiful and fantastic, but.... and the cruise is for something like 21 or 24 days or something like that. Oh, look ! Breathtaking snow & ice! Oh, look! MORE breathtaking snow & ice. Although, I admit, it would take me a lot longer to get bored in, say, a forest. Tree! Tree! So I guess, it ‘s in the eye of the beholder partly. I won‘t even ask what you would say is the most beautiful place on earth. You are so righteous, you would say a temple. Ah, but which one? Gets harder now, doesn’t  it? My first thought is mountains, forest, by the ocean. Or ocean by the forest and mountains. North coast beaches. The world is full of incredibly beautiful places! I hope that if we get to the CK we get to see the beautiful places of the earth. Actually, I also hope that lower T people can also see these places. It is rather hard for me to fathom that CK or even maybe tK(!) will be more beautiful than some of the places on earth. WHAT will that be like?? Incredible.

2012.09.13Mom7 Sometimes I misread billboards. Last night I thought it interesting that they were advertising   “patriotic   yogurt, but it was really   “probiotic  . Sometimes I like my version better.

Th-th-th-That  ‘s All, Folks! Love you! Mom

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